Pole Dance: My Favourite Way to Move
Description: Me, a black woman pole dancer hangs upside down (outside leg hook) on a vertical brass pole in a room with white walls, a clock, and purplish-pink lighting.
My love for pole dancing started in 2015. I took a class out of curiosity and got hooked immediately. I actually signed up for a monthly subscription right after finishing my first class!
What drew me to pole was the combination of strength, flexibility, fluidity, and sensuality. Unlike some pole dancers, pole did not come naturally to me at all. I do not have a dance or athletic background and almost zero hip flexibility. I had to take classes two or three times a week for a month to be strong enough to lift myself onto the pole (without wincing in pain). Even then, it still hurt (I had tons of bruises), my hands and knees often slipped down the pole, and I struggled to put a series of poses together, called “combos”. I had great pole teachers who were very encouraging, which helpful a lot.
I can’t say that I loved the challenge, but I kept going. I wanted to be able to do pole tricks and look graceful.
Slow Progress
I did pole fairly consistently until December 2017. My progress was slow, but I went at my own pace.
During this time, I remember one of my roommates at the commenting on how much time and money I spend on pole and asking me, “What are you going to do with it?” I remember looking at her blankly and responding, “I don’t have goals. I just do it because it makes me feel good”.
In retrospect, this is an understatement. I didn’t have any goals beyond staying in shape, but it did more than make me feel good - it was a central component of well-being. My commitment to pole was me committing to taking care of my body when I didn’t want to. It allowed me to move through difficult moments in my life.
I often talk with my friends about the limits of talk therapy. Don’t get me wrong, I think therapy is necessary and helpful. But I’ve found that talking about things can be paralyzing - it keeps me in my head. Instead of using words and my thinking brain, pole pushed me out of my head and into my body.
I didn’t have to talk about how I felt. I didn’t have to avoid my feelings; I could express them through movement. I really enjoyed contemporary pole classes as the choreographies (specifically those by Nadia Genois) were soulful, emotional, and sensual. They were exactly what I needed to be with the grief and sadness and also, release it from my body.
Of course, I didn’t always feel sad, but pole really anchored me during the good and the bad times. For this, I will be forever grateful to the originators of this beautiful art form: strippers and strippers of colour who have created so many of the pole tricks and styles we practice today.
Life Changes
My pole journey changed its trajectory in December 2017 - I found out I was pregnant. A month before, I decided to get serious and start training to perform, but life had other plans! I continued to do pole until April 2018, when I was 5 months pregnant.
Due to a combination of health and life circumstances (hello solo parenting), my pole practice has pretty much fizzled out over the past 6 years. I’ve had to accept that motherhood has changed my ability to continue doing what I love. I have other priorities now and don’t have the free time to train like I used to. But, I do keep an eye on some of what is happening in the pole world - more so than when I did pole regularly!
Not being able to go to a pole studio due to time, distance, and class times, has led me to spend more time listening, reading, and watching other pole dancers and performers. Interestingly, this distance, i.e. time away from the pole, has allowed me to think more critically about this art form, the pole industry, and my own experience. I will be writing about this in my next blog.
