Why I Didn’t Promote My Book

Since publishing Lions Roaring Far From Home, I have done virtually no promotion besides a few posts on social media. I have also turned down various requests to speak and present the book at adoptee organizations and events. The question, though never asked, is why would I do such a thing? 

The first answer is that I didn’t have to because we didn’t have a publishing deal; it’s a self-published book. My goal was just to get the book out into the world - it was a very long time in the making (over 7 years!). But the most important and underwhelming answer is: I don’t want to keep talking about personal narratives without actually talking about the larger, more difficult issues our community is facing.

I know that I’m not the only person who feels this way, but I will speak for myself. When we’ve received requests to talk about the book or to do a launch with adoptive parents, we either refused or forwarded the requests to our writers (with the exception of two culture camps). The response from the writers has been radio silence or a few responses declining to participate because they were too busy to speak about their essays. I get it - I’m also too busy, tired, and generally uninterested.

I have been writing and talking about adoption on and off since 2013. My perspective has changed over the years to some extent but I have no interest in talking about adoption like I used to. If I do, I’m very selective about who I engage with because I want to make sure I am reaching the right people - Ethiopian adoptees or people who could (or who are) making a difference in the lives of Ethiopian adoptees.

It’s important to mention that there are Ethiopian adoptees holding events, forming organizations, holding important conversations with the community and giving back. This work is necessary and meaningful for them.

My areas of interest are quite specific though - search and reunification in Ethiopia, participating in studies on Ethiopian adoptees undertaken by adoptee-competent scholars, and advocating for the needs of Ethiopian adoptees and also the recognition of first families. Because of my focus, I’ve preferred to collaborate with Ethiopian/Eritrean adoptees, members of the Ethiopian/Eritrean diasporas (or diaspora-led organizations), or other individuals/organizations if our values and interests align. 

On Sharing Personal Stories 

It seems that when people write something there is an expectation that they should (or need to) talk about it afterwards, but I don’t think this has to be true. 

I only contributed a chapter to the anthology because I had something to say: searching and reuniting continues to be a huge obstacle for many, if not most adoptees and first families. My search is just one example (out of many) that demonstrates why resources are needed to make family reunification happen, including a national registry or database, DNA tests, qualified social workers and translators to manage reunification, and much more.

I wrote about my search in an attempt to bring some of the issues to light. But having to re-read my search story, talk about it, and answer personal questions for book events (whether they are adoptee-led or adoptee-focused), is not something I’m willing or interested in doing. 

I can’t speak for other contributors’ reasons but I can say with some certainty that recounting certain experiences, whether it’s pre-adoption childhood memories or searching is traumatic or painful, at the very least. We just don’t want to keep talking about these experiences. The emotional labour we put into writing, and speaking about it, is very taxing and usually uncompensated (and even if it was, it’s not always worth it) because sharing personal details about one’s life can come at a personal cost.

I think personal stories are very important in starting conversations about the harms of Ethiopian and transracial adoption but what’s really needed is concrete action - reparations of some kind, for Ethiopian adoptees and our families. I don’t believe that repair is possible, but I do believe in accountability on the part of governments, orphanages, and adoption agencies involved in causing harmful and illicit adoption practices. 

Research To Inform Policy and Action 

I keep coming back to Ethiopian adoption issues, rather begrudgingly, because the same problems persist - the lack of available support for Ethiopian adoptees, access to information about our adoptions, and financial and psychological support for those wanting to search for and reunite with their families.

The work to restore some sort of justice for adoptees and first parents feels overwhelming and almost impossible because there is so much work to do and very little resources. There is no quick fix or solution either. As much as I believe in grassroots organizing, we (as individuals) don’t have the resources, networks, or bandwidth to help thousands of adoptees and families find each other. It needs to be done at an institutional level (at least partly), because there are a ton of financial, linguistic, and logistical barriers to making this happen at a grassroots level (I’m happy to be wrong about this one day, though!).

One of the main barriers is problems with our paperwork: inaccuracies in our documentation and lack of information documented. Because of this (and other factors), I believe that one of the best solutions would be to establish a national DNA database for first families and adoptees. 

But first, we need more data and research on Ethiopian adoptees and first families to determine the numbers and the magnitude of the need. What I know (and everything I advocate for) is based on my knowledge and experience within Ethiopian adoptee communities for over 10 years but it’s not enough. Formal research is needed to create a base (and also buy-in) for policy and action.

Besides this, Ethiopian adoptee groups and communities need to come together and work collectively towards our common goals. At the moment, our communities are siloed, with groups not communicating or sharing information. I have a lot to say on this topic, but I will save it for another blog. 

So…The Book?

The goal of the anthology was to inform the public about Ethiopian adoption and the lived experiences of Ethiopian adoptees. Most of the time, stories of Ethiopian adoptees are told through the lens of others. We wanted adoptees to have a chance to tell their own stories, in their own words. In doing so, it would provide a mirror for younger Ethiopian adoptees to see themselves through the experiences of others. 

Ultimately, we hoped the book would also be a platform for adoptees to launch their own initiatives or a collective one to support Ethiopian adoptees wanting to search and reunite.

We only scratched the surface with this book - there are so many complexities and aspects of our lives to explore and write about. But Lions Roaring was a first and I’m very proud of us for writing this book and all the work that was put into making it happen (special thanks to Maureen McCauley for all her invaluable work because this book would not exist without her). I know it’s making a difference in people’s lives because they’ve told me so - and for that, I’m grateful.

So far, we have sold over 600 copies and funds have gone towards paying for our website and towards GoFundMes for Ethiopian adoptees who are searching and reuniting or struggling to pay for their living expenses. If you have not already purchased a copy, I encourage you to do so to support Ethiopian adoptees.

If individuals or organizations want to reach out to collaborate, read the book and take the time to learn about our Ethiopian adoption and why we wrote the book before approaching us with requests that have no real benefit for the Ethiopian adoptee community or first parents in Ethiopia.